the room spins SO much faster in panama
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
