I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
