I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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