i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
