I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
