I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
