please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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