Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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