Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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