He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
