I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
