you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
