He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
