I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
