You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
