respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
