i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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