I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
