I'm jealous of your bromance
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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