so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
