It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
