someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
