Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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