Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
