I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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