I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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