So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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