Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
