Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
