Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
