guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize