I want to have your abortion
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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