i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize