now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize