Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize