yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
