just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
