; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
