I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
