I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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