the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
