I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
