I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize