I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
