she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
