There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i think my cat just said my name.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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