I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
