Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
