Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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