I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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