i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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