there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize