i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
