I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
