Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
