i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
