i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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