She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
