so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
