Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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