White coat. Heels.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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