Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
