I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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