Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize