everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize