So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize