dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's official drugs can't kill me
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
