i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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