Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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