You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize