I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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