careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was confusing and full of hummus
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
