"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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