I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
