Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You may now shotgun with the bride
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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