I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
