So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
