I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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