if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
