I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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