Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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